The things we do for love

"Like walking in the rain and the snow when there's nobody home, when you feel like a part of you is dying...the things we do for love.' That song keeps sounding in my ear each day as I leave the office of a company owned by my ex husband. The office where I now work. Yes, I'm working for my ex. Why would any well educated, sane woman do this? Well, other then questioning my sanity, the only other answer is love. No, not love of the ex, love of my children.

As my year of living back on the ex's dole was drawing near and I was looking for a job that would support me and leave me time to be a mom, my ex suggested that I work as an outside sales rep for his company. I shrugged it off at first (actually I thought, "when hell freezes over") but, as the prospect of finding the ideal job with the ideal pay and hours grew dim, I began to look into his offer more seriously. Twenty hours a week, guaranteed salary plus commission, outside sales...not so bad if Darth Vader didn't own the company. Could this work? The dollars and hours made sense even if the rest of it didn't so I decided to give it a try. Ironically, I am reading a book entitled Love as a way of life and it talks about the 7 essential qualities of of love; Kindness, Patience, Forgiveness, Courtesy, Humility, Generosity and Honesty. I'm guessing that Humility one is going to come in handy! On page 120 of the book it defines humility, "If you want to show true love to someone, sacrifice something of value for the sake of the relationship." Okay sons, I'm sacrificing all pride to be a mom who can pick you up from school and be there for you in the evenings. (I hope one day they appreciate this!).

This journey is going to be difficult but I am trying to look at the positives it brings instead of the negatives. On a basic level it gives me money and time, both of which I need. Hopefully, it will bring much more, experience in sales, confidence, a new way to relate with the ex,
new contacts and friendships. I like learning new things so... pray for me. Pray that I will be appreciative of what I do have, that I will be patient with the ex and with my self (the book defines patience as "allowing someone to be imperfect") and that kindness (defined in the book as "the joy of meeting someone else's needs before your own simply for the sake of the relationship") becomes my new best friend.