The 2nd Mrs. and Me

I was determined to have Heidi like me. I wanted to have a good relationship with her for my kids' sake. By the time I met her I had owned my part in the demise of my marriage (ladies and gentlemen---- the is a MUST! I don't care how wrong your spouse was, you had a part in your marriage ending--maybe it was as simple as a poor choice of a spouse in the first place. But, guess what? You choose the SOB!!!!!!!!!! Own it!). I knew that it was partly my fault that my kids now had "mommy's house' and "daddy's house" and I wanted to make it as easy for them to transition between the two as possible. That meant that I had to play nice with the girlfriend. At first I was "acting as if" I liked her but,within a short period of time, I grew to really like her.

First, she was great with my sons--better than their father! When they left with him I worried if he would give them attention but I knew Heidi would play with them (I'm sure at first she was good to my kids to win my ex over but I know she genuinely grew to love them). Funny thing is they grew to love her too and I DIDN'T MIND! I thought that would bother me but, I believe that God whispered in my heart that their was plenty enough love to go around and he was right (go figure!). It was amazing to me the way God freed me of my ego in this matter. I never felt threaten by their love for her. In fact, I was comforted by the extra love and attention my children received. When my father died and I did not have it in me to take care of the children, Heidi stepped up to the plate and took over for me. If I had to work and one of the kids became ill, I could rely on her to help me out. She became the husband I never had (lol).

Second, she was a lot like me--just 9 years younger. I saw myself in her which made me laugh at my ex. NOTE-- if you do not do the internal work after your separation/divorce you will repeat the same mistakes--not that I think Heidi or I were mistakes, I believe it was his expectations of us which were mistakes. In some ways she was the younger sister I never had (I'm the youngest of 6 kids -3 sisters 2 brothers).

Finally, she taught me how to manage my ex. I watched the way she dealt with him and took notes! She taught me to stand up to him and for that I will be eternally grateful. There was a time when I prayed for her infertility (early on in their relationship and I have repented for that prayer) Now I pray that she meets a really great guy and has a couple of kids (I think boys would be best for her). She was a great step mom and my boys and I miss her. We wish you well Heidi!!!!!