Picking up the pieces

When my ex told me he and the 2nd Mrs were getting a divorce I said don't tell anything to the kids until you are sure. A week later he said he was sure. My kids loved Heidi (they thought she had went to Charlotte to visit her sick grandmother) and I knew this would hurt them to know she wasn't coming back. I asked to be there when he told them and he agreed. My ex wanted to justify his decision by saying bad things about the 2nd Mrs that I didn't think children needed to hear. I begged him to keep it light like he wanted to do when we divorced. Back then it was "mommy and daddy just can't get along" now it was "she did this and she did that," He knew that the kids would be mad at him for divorcing Heidi so he wanted to make her look as bad as possible--he was trying to gain their sympathy. His plan didn't work. First, the kids were devastated. The look on their faces broke my heart. The questions they had for their dad made me proud. "Aren't you suppose to love her no matter what" my 8 year old asked. "Dad what about forgiveness?" the 10 year old interjected. They begged him to go back to her. They begged me to"talk to him" (since when did I have any influence over him?) and, as strange as this sounds, I wish I could have convinced him to go back to her. The pain of my divorce was enough, living through this again with my kids was unbearable.

My headstronge ex left that night determined to get the 2nd Mrs. "as far away from him and the kids as possible" and left me with 2 very sad boys.
We talked about their "stepmom" a lot and we called her and let them say their goodbyes (broke my heart). The move to Atlanta made it easier for awhile but, when fall came, talk of Heidi surfaced again. She sent presents and pictures and I pictures too. She doesn't call anymore, I guess she has meet someone new. The boys don't ask about her either but, I wonder how (or if) it will affect them down the line. I pray they will remember that, for a time, someone loved them.