The first year goes on...............

Last time I wrote about being kept in a holding pattern by my ex. Today I would like to tell you what allowing him to have all the power did to me. Although I don't regret the past because I did what I believed was right at the time, in hindsight, allowing my ex to call all the shots kept me from healing and growing. I kept the same "dance" going with him--he had the power to come and go in my life as HE chose and I was a powerless puppy dog who sat and begged at his feet until he threw me some scraps. No wonder I turned him off, it turns me off to think of how weak I was. The moment I said, "NO MORE OF THIS TREATMENT," the healing began. Regaining your power is essential to healing. Of course, the key is that when I finally said "no more," I had reached acceptance that my marriage was over. I had said to myself that-- if this is what I have to endure to keep this person in my life, I don't want to pay that price. In essence, what I said was-- my happiness and mental health is worth more to me than you are. When you get to this point, you will begin to see the light at the end of the tunnel.